How I take care of myself

Sorta linked to my last post in the whole ‘self care’ sense. So if I’m feeling down but it hasn’t quite gotten to the debilitating stage, I try to take care of myself so I can attempt cushion my fall. It’s not a particularly lengthy process because in all honesty, I just don’t have that much energy.

So I usually try to take a shower, I do some thinking in the shower like a lot of people and I also tend to give myself pep talks, I feel renewed and, to some extent, re-energised. To look after myself of course. Then I’d get into pjs because really what else do I wear?

Usually I get into bed and watch something, the specifics of this is usually decided in the shower. Maybe it’s a TV show or sometimes I go back and watch superwoman’s vlogs, she’s pretty damn inspiring! And that is honestly it, if I’m going downstairs anyway then I’ll make myself some tea but otherwise I wouldn’t, why? Because my room is in the loft and I’d have to take two sets of stairs to get downstairs, no thanks!

But yes, I did say it was a short process!

Until next time 🙂

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Where I’ve been and how I’m feeling

Hey guys, it has been a long while since I even considered writing another blog post. I think I sorta fell out of love with blogging for a while, it seemed too much like a burden. So I just peaced out, but I think I’m back now.

I started feeling that pressure again, the pressure to write better and gain more followers. To turn this little hobby into a part time job or something wild like that. I have had this blog for well over a year now and I’m still not entirely sure what I’m actually writing about, but I think that’s ok.

When I was younger I was almost obsessed with labelling myself, was I girly girl or a tomboy, how would I describe my dress sense? I didn’t realise how damaging it was to put myself in boxes and to help those who were already attempting to do that to me. So I started teaching myself to break free of that, I wear skirts, I like dresses, I wear makeup, I swear, I read books and I will also punch you in the mouth if you talk shit about people I care about. I’m multi faceted and doesn’t it make sense that my blog would be too?

So that’s one of the many things that has been on my mind recently.

Until next time 🙂

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Liebster award!

Hello everyone! I was nominated by ranteatsleeprepeat to do this award so thank you for that!! 🙂

Ze rules are:

  1. Post this award to yer blog
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. State 11 random facts about yourself
  4. Answer the questions given
  5. Think up 11 more questions
  6. and nominate!!

~ 11 Facts ~

  1. I’m 17 (feel 70)
  2. As a kid I strongly believed that black and grey were weird colours to choose as your favourite colours and am now eating my words.
  3. I’m in the process of learning how to knit and I’m not completely failing.
  4. I write faster than I type.
  5. I volunteer at my hospital.
  6. I prefer physical calendars to the digital kind. (Remember when I said I felt like I was 70?)
  7. I just spent 4 hours typing up psychology notes.
  8. I want to get three more ear piercings, possibly playing round with the idea of getting my nose pierced.
  9. I most definitely want tattoos when I’m older.
  10. I feel like I’m way more comfortable talking about sex etc than other people I know and I dial it back so I don’t freak people out too much (possible future blog posts..?)
  11. I surprisingly prefer my hair short (past me has just fainted in shock)

And now my 11 answers!

  1. What is your favourite colour? Grey and blue.
  2. What do you hope to achieve from your blog? I hope that I could maybe turn it into a source of income in the future. 
  3. What is one thing you can take away from your blog antics already? Not sure how to answer this one D:
  4. How tall are you? 5’6″/5′ 7″
  5. What is the weirdest dream you ever had? So many to choose from….
  6. Do you do blog-related work for a living? If not, what do you do? I’m still in school so that’s about it.
  7. What is your favourite ever book/book series? Why? Gotta say the ACOTAR series because for some reason I’m really attached to those characters.
  8. Do you think pineapple belongs on pizza? To each their own tbh.
  9. Where do you see this blog this time next year? Probably in a similar place, with hopefully more followers!
  10. Do you think you get enough sleep? I do but I’m usually tired anyway.
  11. How do you mainly do blog posts? PC, mobile etc? I sometimes draft posts on my phone if I’m away from my laptop but usually my laptop for actually posting.

And now! 11 questions!

  1. If you could go anywhere in the world, is it a place or a person?
  2. Do you believe in aliens? Why/why not?
  3. When did you start your blog?
  4. Do you moisturise as much as you should? -,-
  5. Can you cook?
  6. When was the last time you actively avoided social media?
  7. Do you play a musical instrument?
  8. What was/is your best subject at school?
  9. Do you read poetry?
  10. How often do you go to the cinema?
  11. What’s your favourite animal? Why?

The nominees aaaaaaarrrrrrreee:

itsactuallyhan

It’s simply me, Jasmine

Sparklefox

L

Dalia

Until next time!

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and how it didn’t go as planned

So it was results day for me yesterday, and it really didn’t go the way I wanted it to. These were only my AS results so it’s not as bad as it could’ve been but you know, still sucky.

So while you may be surrounded by youtubers and friends who have done well, and I am happy for those people in my life, it may not have turned out the same way for you. And it certainly didn’t for me either.

So I took psychology, maths and chemistry. My results were C,D,E respectively. Now, I needed a D in order to pass and be allowed to continue my subjects onto A2. Chemistry was gonna be a flop from the start I did honestly try my best, for maths too, but it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. I think this was my first major fail in my life, something that had slightly more serious consequences than failing an end of topic test. Or flopping that spelling test back in year 3.

After speaking to my head of year, he advised me to drop both maths and chemistry and instead take up an applied science btec while continuing psychology for A2. Which probably is the best course of action for me, however I will have to stay for an extra year which is the one thing I really did not want to do.

But other than having to stay on for an extra year, I’m not mad about what happened. Realistically with the way everything was going, I don’t think I would’ve been able to get the grades I wanted to get into uni with the subjects I was studying. My head of year said as much.

Hopefully this alteration in my life is for the better, I was bound to hit a major bump in my education and I’m thankful that it was something that wasn’t impossible to find a solution to.

Until next time

Give me a follow why don’t ya?

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Sure, why not a rant!

Periods suck, as any period having person will be able to tell you. Let me tell you why.

Where to begin?

Let’s start with the pain shall we? There’s the cramping which can be described as being akin to being stabbed in the gut and every so often the knife gets twisted, just when you think it may be manageable, it gets twisted in deeper. Then of course there’s everything else, the lower back pain, the boob tenderness. I have a separate bra that’s more stretched out specifically for when I’m on my period, and when given the opportunity I wear those sports bras that are basically just crop tops. Why they call them sports bras I’m not sure.

Your self esteem takes a hit too, when your previously clear skin now has lil mountains sprouting from all directions. I’ve been drinking my water, I don’t deserve this.

Then with the period itself, I have yet to master the art of inserting a tampon so I’m still using pads. Throwback to when I was one and wearing nappies, because sometimes that’s what it feels like. Tell me, how do you think it feels to stand up after letting your weary body rest for a bit and feel the torrent of blood, mucus and blood clots come out of you? You can feel the pad unstick from your skin. Lots of fun.

Speaking of discomfort, can we just talk about the crusty blood and very sticky situation we wake up to in the mornings when on our period? My laziness is no match for the discomfort, and I lie in bed for HOURS instead of getting up to pee. And let me tell you, the blood gets everywhere. Plus while we’re on the subject of sleep, it is so hard to fall asleep while on your period. I personally resemble a starfish when sleeping, so having to clamp my legs shut for 8 hours? Not a fan. And if I fail to do so? Well, let’s prepare for a lovely blood stain on my newly changed sheets! I don’t change my sheets often as is, so getting a bloodstain on them the day I decide to change them is a nightmare.

Plus you know, the constant fear that you have to live with in your day to day life worrying that you’re gonna leak. Have I mentioned how much fun this is?

And finally, the cherry on fucking top, assholes who think periods are a joke. Or tell me that my pain can’t be that bad? “Have you ever tried being kicked in the balls?” No I haven’t and I doubt it’s pleasant but jfc who told you to turn this into a competition? I have to go about my daily life with a smile on my face and hand in work that is of a high standard while my literal uterus is shredding itself so I’ll thank you very much to keep your ignorant opinions to yourself you stupid walnut.

And if anyone comments “lol are you on your period” a) Read the title dumbass and b) I started my day in a pool of my own blood, would you like to end yours in the same way? 🙂

Until next time!

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My childhood + books

So as I’ve grown older I’ve realised that sometimes parents say things that aren’t ok, things that are racist or sexist. And of course I’ve been calling them out like there’s no tomorrow, much to their annoyance because I’m making them think about what they’re doing. No one likes to be made aware of how shitty they’re being, but you gotta make people uncomfortable in order for change to happen. In my experience, my parents have calmed down with the comments and when they slip up, I make sure they hear my opinions loud and clear.
So it made me wonder, if my parents have always been like this and have been spouting these views from since I was however many years old and I used to believe everything they said was right (out of fear or respect? Who knows) Why aren’t I the same way? Why do I disagree and in some cases hate some of our cultural customs?
And I think the conclusion I’m coming to is books, books have always been apart of my life. The thing about books is that each one gives you a different perspective, and sometimes that perspective changes when you reread a book. And as a little brown girl with very strict parents, I’d like to think I learnt a lot from books. Kissing and romantic love, all these things that were considered borderline sinful in my world were celebrated in books. There’s a whole genre about romance, and it wasn’t always about a boy and a girl. Now at this moment in time, I think I am straight but these books opened my eyes to love in a way I couldn’t possibly imagine to find in the films that I watched with my family. They made it all seem so normal.
Just books man.
Do you guys read? And if so, do you remember when you first got into it?
Socials (I have a poetry tumblr now!!)
Until next time 🙂

It’s the last day of July so it seemed appropriate to revisit this month’s goals. So these were my goals for this past month:

  1. Start doing yoga
  2. Start meditating again.
  3. Fully get back into blogging.
  4. Write more poetry/post more on instagram.
  5. Properly get back into the rhythm of studying.

Ok so I haven’t done ~that~ great, the first one I did attempt but I’ve since decided that yoga isn’t for me. I do try to stretch in the mornings but for now, that’s enough for me if I’m being honest.

Meditation, I’m slowly getting back into it. Not quite daily, or even weekly, but I’m getting back into it slowly but surely.

Let’s not talk about number 3, it’s one of my legit goals this month I swear. Ummm number 4 is the same as 3…

And number 5, not sure what I was thinking here. It’s the end of the year so there’s barely anything to work on however I have been working on what I can so yay me?

Onto August!

  1. BE A BLOGGER AND ACTUALLY BLOG (Aiming for once a week) (Minimum)
  2. BE A WRITER AND ACTUALLY WRITE (It’s hard ok!)
  3. Get back into the habit of working out everyday, periods and going on holiday has kinda thrown a spanner into that one this month.
  4. Pass my driving theory test, paid £23 for that so I better…
  5. Start prepping for year 13 and work on Uni stuff because that’s a thing now…

I think this is more than enough for this month, it kinda covers many aspects of my life to improve in 5 points!

Until next time! (Hopefully within a week..)

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