So I was watching the latest episode of Supernatural (spn fans go whoo!) and the way Dean was acting got me thinking, I want to be like him. Ever since I started watching Supernatural, I kinda saw myself in Dean, just a little. Fiercely protective over siblings, check. Usually angry and doesn’t like many people, check and check. But I usually keep too much in, I don’t like that I’m forced to pretend to like someone just cos. If someone is genuinely a bit of a dick, I shouldn’t have to back down and ‘be polite.’ And in today’s episode I realised how truly unapologetic Dean was, and to an extent that’s where I want to be.
I’ve spent my whole life being taught that I should adjust and adapt to the needs of others. Why? Because I’m a girl and if I’m anything but polite then suddenly I’m crossing a line, I’ve embarrassed my parents, and I should suddenly apologise for speaking my mind? Ha no thanks, I’ve got far far too many years worth of rage built up for that to even be possible now.
Plus, it shouldn’t matter whether these random people like me or not, I mean the people at school alone I’ll only have to deal with for another year or so and then we’ll be scattered across the UK and beyond going to university or continuing their lives down other paths. People from my primary school probably don’t remember me and people from my current school might not either. And if they weren’t my friends and do remember me, let it be because I was unapologetically myself and maybe they hated me for it. Whoops, too bad.
Jeez I was just about to apologise for rambling on, nope I’m not sorry for deciding to write a blog post about my thoughts for today. I hope this post has maybe made you think a little, and if not I hope you found it interesting at least!
Until next time!